Fear of Authenticity

I originally had another post in mind for today, but I decided to write about something I’ve been struggling with lately. The fear of authenticity.

I’ve always considered myself an authentic person. I try to be as real as I can be. It’s actually something I strive for in life. I want to continue to be this true and real person. Someone who knows who she is and at the same time is continuing to learn who she is while she grows and learns.

Even though what I talk about on here is real, and everything I write about is true I think sometimes I fear authenticity.

I fear letting people know the “real” me. Letting people see inside my life, more than just the pre-meditated post that I perfect until it’s exactly the way I want you to see it. I’m talking about the real nitty-gritty life. I’m talking about being truly honest and open. Sharing about my life beyond just a specific topic designed for a specific post. See I’m good at that, but sharing a post that shows you who I am on a daily basis is harder for me.

My Type A personality begs me to reconsider when I start venturing into this uncharted territory. There’s no order to those posts, per se. Sometimes I want things neat and tidy, perfectly arranged (it’s a pull I’ll always have to struggle with) and so writing about myself without a specific topic in mind, i.e. parenting tips, flies in the face of everything I learned about writing.

There have been more times than I care to remember where I’ve typed and typed only to talk myself out of posting. There have been nights where I come up with great ideas only to think perhaps it’s already been done. Or times where I write about something only to feel like who would really read this?

And yet that’s exactly why people read.

You read because you’re looking to connect with another person. You read because you’re interested in what another person has to say and can literally do it while sitting on your couch in your living room. You read because it’s intriguing to get a glimpse into someone’s life, even the briefest of glimpses can teach us something. And yet one of the most difficult things can be to let my guard down and truly embrace every single detail of authenticity.

But I think it’s not only important, but life-changing to embrace authenticity.

Truly embracing and accepting that the only way to further learn more about myself as well as share more of myself and my life is through authenticity. It can be life-changing not only for me, but for others. Sometimes we think that others aren’t listening or reading or learning anything from what we put out there in the universe, but I’ve learned that more often than naught that is not the case.

For example, my friend Jaimi from The Stay-at-Home-Mom Survival Guide had started using Young Living essential oils and had been posting about them for a couple of months. This particular day she posted something that caught my attention, and I had my husband order them for my Christmas present. As I experimented with them I learned they helped alleviate my daughter’s congestion and coughing fits.

I reached out to tell Jaimi thank you for introducing them to me and how they have changed my life. Her response was that she had really been struggling that day and almost didn’t post because she didn’t feel like anyone was listening. Think about if she had never posted about them that day! I would never had tried them and found out that they could help my family so much.

Her authenticity literally changed my life.

Pushing past the uncomfortable and the fear of authenticity and the reactions I get from others is something I strive for here on my blog. That and trying not to take everything on here so seriously. I’m actually a really funny person if you keep reading and get to know me…